Ode to An Exceptional Orange Cat

The phone rang around noon today. I did not even have to look at the Caller ID.I already knew who it was. The number of my veterinarian seemed to glare at me much brighter than usual. I answered on the second ring or was it the third? My mind was already trying to grasp what my heart already knew. My head was saying maybe, just maybe it's not as bad as you think, but my heart was saying you know better, don't let him suffer, its time to let that old orange kitty go. Hello? My vets voice was on the other end, "Hey Robin, how are you?" I could hear it in her voice. Go ahead Doc, just be straight with me. I heard her say kidney failure and my mind drifted.....

Oscar came into our lives quite unexpectedly just as all of the animals in my life have. He was a big, fat, orange tabby who had been "given" (aka left behind) to Courthouse Animal Hospital in 2006. It seems his previous family had a new baby and therefore had no room for that big old orange, furry, bundle of pure love, anymore. The vets office saw a sucker for a sad story coming the moment I walked in the door. I was there to pick up my own cat, Bailey, who had been mauled by my neighbors Chow Chow (in MY yard) on Thanksgiving Day. Bailey, an older kitty himself, had survived (barely) and was coming home demanding a lot of attention The last thing I needed was another cat. As I waited for Bailey the  office staff emerged with Oscar. He had the cutest face, all white whiskers with one very prominent black one smack in the middle. We were introduced and his story spilled out from the three gals that manned the front desk. I greeted Oscar with a rub on his ears and he responded with the tiniest little sound. So small that I wondered if I had really heard anything at all! I guess I could say that Oscar had me at "Hello".

It was during a difficult time in my life when Oscar made his debut. I was recently separated from my husband  and trying to raise my then 1 year daughter and 4 year old son (who was newly diagnosed with PDD NOS I had no clue that this was a pre-curser for Autism). I was in a new job and was struggling to make it day by day all the while trying to keep a smile on my face. Oscar was a big old lap cat that would always answer me back when I talked to him. Most of the time it was a small sound and sometimes no sound at all, just an open mouth that seemed to smile. We both needed a lot of attention and both had a lot of love to give. He was my lap kitty for quite sometime and he never complained as I moved our family from home to home over the next few years. When we moved back to Bon Air, almost two years ago, I promised my kids and my kitty's that this was it. Up until then Oscar always stayed inside. When I knew that this was our last stop, that we were home, Oscar was able to go outside and he could not have been happier. He never went to far from the back deck. He was dependable like that.

"So, what do you want to do Robin? I can make him comfortable but there is no guarantee how long..." I knew  the right thing to do but I could not get it out. The words stuck in my throat. How do I do this? How do I end the life of something that I love? I had never even thought about Oscar not being here. Surely he had more time than this?

I was overcome with grief and guilt. Funny how we give our pets human emotions. Oh my gosh, I haven't spent anytime with him in what seems like an eternity. Life has been so busy I just....Lately when I came to bed I was so tired and emotionally spent I barely gave him a pat good night. He was always there though, right on my pillow or under my arm. No matter how bad the day was he was always right there. I suddenly felt as though I had let my best friend down I fussed at him just a few days ago about knocking all the water out of his bowl, again. He had a habit of doing this and it was so irritating. Now it does not seem like it was such a big deal...

Oscar was a loner, not by choice. My other kitties never really accepted him. All would seek my attention and Oscar, being the gentleman he was, would step aside so the younger ones could get a treat or some extra ear scratching. I wonder if he knows how much he is loved?

When I took him to the vet on Saturday I knew it was not good but I was still unprepared for the final prognosis. My son Matthew left his stuffed cat with Oscar so he wouldn't be lonely during his stay at the hospital. My vet said she had never seen a cat hold on to and love an object as much as Oscar did. Maybe he knew that it was special. Matthew shares his stuffed kitty with no one but on this occasion I think even Matthew sensed that things were not good.

Some people say that animals don't go to heaven, that they don't have a soul. Well, I choose to believe that whether an animal has a soul or not, I serve a God that can do ANYTHING, including reuniting owners with their beloved pets in heaven. Nothing is impossible....

I will be heading up to the vet soon to say good bye to my Oscar. I did not think I could do it, but it is the least I can do for such a sweet and loving orange tabby cat. For all the times he was there in my lap when I was feeling blue, for all the times he wiped my tears as I buried my face in his coat, for the times he made me laugh, it is now my turn to be there for him. For my sake more than his, I had to have one more opportunity to tell him that I love him, to thank him for loving me unconditionally, and most importantly to tell him that he is truly a most exceptional orange cat......